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Inspired by Eugene Lee Yang and his “Rank King” series on the Try Guys YouTube channel, I have decided to rank the most popular types of cookies from worst to best.
8. Oatmeal Raisin Cookies
Why would you put small, sad, dried grapes into beautifully crafted oatmeal cookies? Exactly. You wouldn’t. Don’t do it. It’s wrong. And that’s a fact. Besides the fact that raisins ruin everything, I do love an oatmeal base as I find that gives a cookie a little more chew and texture. However, they can sometimes end up a little too chewy and after all, it’s not a granola bar. All in all, I’d rate the oatmeal part of oatmeal raisin cookies a 7/10 but because raisins come along with it, I’d give it a 1/10. (Pro tip: break apart the cookie and take out every raisin, then enjoy the oatmeal cookie with a smile on your face.)
7. Macaron
I don’t know if this really counts as a cookie, but they are small, round, and kinda crunchy, so it may as well be a type of cookie. These hard-to-make, fancy, expensive “cookies” are definitely not worth the hype. You can’t really pick one up without treating it like a newborn and what kind of good cookie requires heaps of care when it comes to consumption? They’re quite airy which I personally don’t like and some of the flavors get too obscure and hipster to be considered appetizing.
6. Peanut butter cookies
Peanuts aren’t too appealing to me. Peanut butter isn’t too appealing to me. Therefore, peanut butter cookies aren’t too appealing to me. I do like the balance of the sweet and salty but they’re often made too tart and too dry. Plus, peanuts are like the most common allergy so I feel the need to be the voice for those who can’t eat peanuts. The cross-hatching detail on the top is quite cute though.
5. Gingerbread cookies
Definitely not the best cookie but they’re just too festive and happy to be ranked any lower. There’s something about the way all the spices taste together that makes it scream Christmas. They’re a little too thin and crunchy for my liking but it’s always fun to bite off limb by limb until there’s only a body left. One question: why don’t people just put more icing on these plain cookies? THEY NEED SUGAR.
4. Chocolate chip cookie
I know, I know. How can the most classic cookie not be ranked as number one? Well, you can blame that on the chocolate chips. As I’m not the biggest fan of chocolate itself, it makes sense that chocolate chip cookies aren’t my favorite. There’s something about chunks of chocolate that ruin the cookie itself. It kind of gets in the way and makes things a little too messy. Don’t get me wrong, I would never say no to one, but it wouldn’t be my first choice. I give you full permission to attack me in the comments for this choice.
3. Sugar cookie (the Pillsbury ones)
Eaten best raw, with a chance of salmonella. Yeah, you could put them in your oven and wait 15 minutes but why would you waste your precious time like that? I am in no way recommending consuming raw cookie dough, but you should totally do it. There’s something unbelievably satisfying about taking a huge bite out of a roll of Pillsbury sugar cookie dough when your mother isn’t watching.
2. Sugar cookie (the Lofthouse ones)
Sugar cookies are a classic. While the ones you plop in the oven are no doubt amazing, the superior sugar cookies are clearly the Lofthouse ones. If you’re not familiar, Lofthouse cookies are the pre-made, frosted cookies you can buy in basically every American supermarket. I mean, there’s a reason they’re called “America’s favorite handheld treat”. The way they break apart as soon as you put them in your mouth paired with its overly-sweet, neon frosting is a combination to kill for. But keep in mind, they are addicting and you need a high level of self-control (I once ate half a box in one sitting, not my proudest moment).
1. Snickerdoodle
What could be better than a fluffy, chewy sugar cookie with CINNAMON on the outside? NOTHING! This is why the snickerdoodle is ranked as the best kind of cookie, superior to all cookies. Feeling sad? Eat a snickerdoodle to cheer up. Feeling bored? Eat a snickerdoodle to spice up your life. Snickerdoodles are perfect for EVERY occasion, from a funeral to a wedding. I know that cinnamon is not necessarily everyone’s cup of tea, but I promise that when it’s in a cookie, it goes amazing with a cup of tea.
While these aren’t all the types of cookies in the world, I’d say they’re the most well-known types. These are my opinions and they are in no way right, but it’s a fact that raisins shouldn’t be cookies.
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